I need a Souljah!

 Life After Death

Have you ever wandered what heaven or hell is like?

Have you ever read a book and been so frustrated with confusion that you want to stop but you keep going cause there has to be a point, you know this author, there has to be a plot twist? LOL. 

I laugh but kept reading. I finally found that plot twist I needed. Let me just say if you haven't read this book, trust Sistah Souljah to do her thing, she's coming. 

What did I learn from this book you might ask? I learned alot more about Winter Santiaga and her evolution as a woman. I learned that certain things happen in life to open up our eyes and our minds. I learned to trust GOD  love myself and honor myself. It was worth it in the end and I loved how the story came together. 

What I enjoyed most about this book was that it was from the black perspective. The words and ways of Winter Santiaga are always entertaining and enlightening at the same time. Her character reminds me of that one family member who we love to hear speak about the facts of life and love. She always knows exactly what kind of man to choose, rich, powerful, a souljah! LOL. Winter gives us life and it's fun to watch her evolution. I also loved that it touched on some black issues like mental health and abortion.

Overall I'd give this book 4/5 stars. Even though I was confused in the beginning, I realized why in the end and it was great. Sistah Souljah is a genius and I can't wait to read more from her collection.

*** KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE BOOKS**

 

Its a Photo Shoot !

 

When I turned 30 I wanted to do something phenomenal to capture my life and these moments where I am finding myself and designing my world. So I started posing for the frame and having photo shoots...

In this photo shoot I was 31. I was 7 years in to my social work career and thriving. I moved into my 1st "luxury" apartment and I felt luxurious. I began cycling and working out consistently as I was very concerned about my weight and staying healthy. I learned the importance of choosing healthy relationships during this time. Even though my life was thriving I was in a very unsupportive relationship which led me into depression. To be honest I have always had trouble in the love department but I have always been grateful for the lesson of each relationship. 

The relationship I was in during this time taught me to value myself. It gave me the opportunity to finally look back over my life and realize how hard I had worked to get there. I began to pour more love into myself as I realized I might be the only one who ever would and I also learned to be ok with that. "31 summers" that's what I named this photo shoot. It took me 31 summers to learn how to love me.

Fast Forward to age 36. I am now 12 years into my career as a social worker, working on starting a business, and focused on becoming financially free. I am still single and happy. I have accepted who I am and I love where my life is headed. I still battle with depression and I am always mindful of my wellness, peace of mind, and surrounding myself with positive energy. The pandemic of 2020 disrupted my healing journey and honestly put me back into survival mode. I don't work out consistently or eat as well as I did in my early 30's. After the pandemic, I lost my mojo and here in these photos I am working on getting it back. I call this photoshoot "Pink it up". I decided to where pink for my 36th birthday photo shoot, to remind myself a woman can do anything and also look fun and flirty. I took this photo shoot in Chicago with IAMAPRILMAE photography. We played music, laughed about relationships and the joys of having children, and we celebrated each other as women. I was reminded that even though I wasn't where I wanted to be on my journey I could still get back to thriving instead of surviving. 

Flirty 30 and Thriving 

7 months after I turned 36 on 2/22/2022 I shaved all my hair off. I asked God for a fresh start and he gave me this vision. I was thinking about starting a YouTube channel before the pandemic but I put in on hold. After I shaved my hair I had another vision to share my growth journey with everyone on YouTube.

Shaving my hair off helped me face my depression. It has given me the confidence to move on from the things that have hurt me in my past. Like the hair I shaved off, I have let the past go. I call this photo shoot "Bald and Beautiful". Growing up I loved sneaking into my room and watching "Young and the Restless". I always pretended I was one of the characters and I had rich people problems lol. I loved how over the top fabulous the women were and how polished the men were. When I began piecing together how I would celebrate my hair cut I thought of capturing it dramatically like one of the rich women I used to admire on that show. 

Diamonds, pearls, nails, and skin. I am giving "Victor Newman's Mistress" honey. Nikki Newman better watch out. LOL

Overall this photo shoot and each one before it helped me learn a little more about myself and life. I am forever grateful for this life and these 30's. I promised myself that from this point on I would live life unapologetically and for me.

***Celebrate Yourself. Have a Photo Shoot***

Check out my YouTube Channel: TTShavedItAllOff for my behind the scenes video of my "Bald and Beautiful" photo shoot.

All my LIFE I had to FIGHT!

 What Happened to You?

By Dr. Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey

Get ready to be blown away, reopen and heal some wounds, laugh, cry, and simply be amazed at this masterpiece. This gem is not a light read. It is heavy and you will need a pen, note pad, and a box of kleenex. I started this book July 2021 and let me tell you it took me down for the rest of 2021. One chapter took me 3 months to process, 3 whole months of staring at myself in the mirror and crying. 

I know you're wondering, why read a book that makes you sad? Why would you reopen wounds? Why look back when you can move forward? Reading this was very emotional for me but it took me a few steps closer to my TRUTH, and for that it is a work of art. It has helped me face my reality in a very honest way. I feel as though revisiting my past for a few months made my future very clear. I will not tell you to read this if you are looking for a quick fix or a miracle in your life but READ THIS if you are dedicated to doing the work of healing and becoming a better you.

So, what happened to you? Were you abused as a child, did you experience trauma growing up, or did you grow up in a non loving, non nurturing environment? Whatever happened to you molded you in some way and most of us never take the time to process who we are. Reading this book is like sitting front row in your own movie about your life and dissecting the pieces that made you who you are.

My favorite gems from this book are the diagrams and small test throughout the book. It really made me feel like I was apart of Dr. Perry's research team. He is so insightful and the way he is able to break down how the brain works and how we process trauma is brillant. It took me months to process some of the truths I learned from this book because the test were so accurate and undeniable. 

The end of this book amazed me because not only did it break me down, it built me back up. It switched from "what happened to you?", then to, "how to heal from what happened to you". Oprah came through with some enlightenment in that special way that she does and it sealed the deal, I was inspired. 

After reading this book I feel like my "self help" genre of books is on pause for a while. I'm ready to read light, lol. There is nothing wrong with seeking self help, self improvement, or healing but for me apart of my journey is learning to have fun again. I learned from this book that it is ok to get out of your head and just live! I have spent the last 5 years of my life dedicated to self improvement and figuring out how to live a drama free, intentional, and have a peaceful life. I am finally in a good space! [PRAISE BREAK] I finished this book in January and started 2022 ready to make best of the rest of my life.

I did it y'all ...I shaved it all off and I am sharing my hair story

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgT4q7fvIwTFS_GetusmfXw

*subscribe to my new YOUTUBE channel... TTShavedItAllOff*

*KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE BOOKS*

And Still I Rise...

 A Concrete Rose

Reading this book was nostalgic and heart felt, a real black story. It took me back to the hood in the 90's. I was just a kid then but I remember the black man's struggle between the streets and getting an education. I watched many men in my family fall victim to the systems never meant to protect them.  I felt the familiar sting of poverty and limited choices, it's such an eye-opener. This book is the perfect rendition of a black family dealing with street life, systems of oppression, teen pregnancy, violence, grief, and love in the 90's.  

This is my first time reading this author, Angie Thomas. I have seen the movie, The Hate U Give, which is based on a novel she also wrote. Her stories seem to give you the real black experience, a real Concrete Rose. Not just how pretty it looks in the end but the entire process. Her way of telling a story will capture you until the end. 

I started to think about all the concrete roses I've met in my life. I think they all have overcame something big to get here...

KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE BOOKS *

Living and Learning

 No Role Model

By T.T

I am no role model.

I have never been perfect, though I might have tried to be.

Lied to be great and made alot of mistakes.

Stole some ideas and judged others opinions

I talked about people, their looks, their ways.

I've learned some hard lessons, cried, overshared, and over cared.

I dropped my last tear. I faced myself.

I am here flaws and all....and I would do it all again.

Don't look up to me or follow my path.

Trust yourself.  I am no role model... I really learned to love myself.

Who run the world? GIRLS !!!

 DEEPER

by Robin York

Bookworms y'all alright out there? I know its rough. Are y'all still reading? It's been a struggle for me and I'm not gonna sugar coat, I have been going through some things. So if you are like me and life hit you hard this year, IT IS OK, WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS. Keep reading (even if you need a little break) and keep going cause someone is inspired by your story. 

March is national women's month and also National Social Worker month. It's a double celebration for me as I am both, a woman and a proud social worker. This month's blog post is inspired by a woman author.  Robin York is a wife, mother,  and a college graduate. I am inspired by women who seem to do it all. I often wonder where their strength and endurance comes from, that raw power that women tap into to become fearless and unstoppable, and that unconditional love they give while doing it ALL. 

Visit www.robinyork.com to learn more about this author.

Happy Women's Month

Deeper is a Romance novel. What I enjoyed most about the book was that it told the love story of a girl who was a victim of revenge porn. It's not your typical love story. This book has so many twist, turns, and realistic moments. I love the contrast between finding a real man and confronting the men who have done you wrong. 

I purchased this book for one dollar at the dollar store. I was intrigued by the lady posing on the front as well as the title, DEEPER. I am very in tune with my intuition and certain words trigger my interest. At first I wondered if I could get into a romance novel, my own love life sucks and if I'm being honest I'm a little jaded on the love story scene, but I decided to try it anyway. This was a good find and for a dollar I'm glad I made the purchase.

If you love a good romance novel this one is good. It's not a predictable love story and it is empowering. My favorite moment was when she found her voice. When she confronted her attacker my heart soared. I stood with her and enjoyed the moment she unleashed her power. Not only did she stand up to her attacker she started fighting for her life by confronting all the men in her life, whether they liked it or not.

Take your power back ladies. Life throws us so many curve balls, downfalls, pit stops and traumatic events. This book is a reminder that you are resilient, strong, and you deserve men in your life who respect you. Best dollar I've spent!

Love yourself unconditionally, fight for what you deserve, and keep your head in the books *

R.I.P Aunt Christine

All my love and save a spot for me in heaven.

Gone but never forgotten. Always in my heart. 

Your memory will live on forever

Your legacy will never die

My only comfort is knowing you are in a better place and watching over me.

I will miss our private talks and your loving and welcoming spirit.

I pray for all of the families who have suffered great losses due to Covid 19.

*Stay strong*

A Halloween Treat

 Blaze

Forwarded by Stephen King

A novel by Richard Bachman

I was skeptical about reading this book but the story turned out to be pretty good. This is my first thriller book and the closest thing I've read to horror. After reading this book I'm very interested in the Horror/Thriller genre of books. Lookout for more like this on the blog. 

Blaze grew up on "the wrong side of the tracks" as most would say. He had a rough childhood and lived a life of doing petty crimes. The book details his childhood and the criminal activities that all lead up to the biggest crime he's ever done, a kidnapping. Blaze is the underdog you will root for because despite all he's done he's simply a victim of his own circumstances. I really enjoyed this story's ups and downs. One thing that really captured me was his love for the victim he kidnapped. It showed that he was more than capable of giving and receiving love, something he never truly experienced from the adults in his life. All Blaze knew was the criminals he grew up with but the love he has for the victim makes him his own man finally. He isn't the smartest guy and surely not the smartest criminal but his heart is pure. This story is captivating, a page turner, and I found myself anxiously wondering how it would all end.

It took me about two months to read Blaze. It took me so long because I just moved to a new place. I've been in the process of decorating and adjusting to a new address, you know the moves. In a perfect world I would have finished this book in a week. The story is so good and easy to follow. If you haven't read any Horror/Thriller books I recommend starting with Blaze. It's the perfect book to cuddle up with for these cold winter months.

Happy Halloween <3

From: "Toni the Tiger"

*Keep Your Head in the Books*