Reading With Dr. Wade

 The Mis-Education of the Negro

By Carter G Woodson

Reading this book was a big confirmation for me. I admired the way Dr. Woodson spoke to the mind of his reader.  From the Preface to the last page of the book I was captured by every word. This book is 105 pages of the things we are miseducated on as black people and how we miseducate ourselves as black people by not defining ourselves and trying to imitate others. This book is 18 chapters of how we got it wrong and ways to get it right. 

I read this book with Dr. Wade and in her book club we share our black stories, speak about our black experiences and learn our black history. I found my tribe! This journey has been like a treasure hunt, and the more I explore with Dr. Wade the more I find my unique path. I'm enjoying black history, black books, and embracing my own culture in a way I have never done before. I have learned so much about black history in the city I was born and raised in these last two years than ever before. If you read my review of the Accommodation,  you know I began exploring Black History in Dallas and it really opened my eyes to the world around me. It was Dr. Wade who invited me to take a deeper look, it was also Dr. Wade who handed me a copy of The Accommodation, and she invited me to read with her in Negro Park #1, Griggs Park. 

I was engulfed in work during her first book club and I could not attend the book club meetings regularly but Dr. Wade still encouraged me to read it on my own and it turned out to be the best book I read all year. So when Dr. Wade announced she was beginning season 2 of her book club, I made sure to clear my calendar and attend. This time we read The Mis-Education of the Negro in Negro Park #2, Eloise Lundy Park located in the Bottoms. First let me say the view was amazing. We read, we grew, we listened and we climbed. I can't say enough about how glad I am I joined this book club. Reading books by black authors has taken on a whole new meaning for me. Joining a book club that reminds me of who I am and why I am here means everything to me.

So back to the book. Dr. Wade really knows how to create a vibe. It is the hottest summer in Texas but we read together in the park unfazed by the heat and amazed by Carter G. Woodson's book. We learned about his life and his journey. He was a Harvard educated black man still not satisfied with what he learned in school. That really resonated with me. I was always taught that a college degree would make me better. I was always taught that school was the only way out of the hood. Yet when I graduated with My Master's degree from college I still did not understand who I was or my purpose. I was Mis-Educated and reading this book Re-Educated me on what is important for me to know and pay attention to as a black person. 

One great thing I learned about Dr. Woodson was that he did not begin high school until age 20. At 20 years old I was in College and honestly I was not learning a thing, I just wanted a degree. Getting educated later in life can be a blessing. He was more mature, more eager to learn, and he knew a lot more about life. I remember feeling like I did not understand life or why I needed to learn history.  I can only imagine how much more impactful the knowledge I was barely into or cared for would be for me at the age I am now. His life story was another eye-opening moment, It's not only what we learn but when we learn it that's important as well.

Here is my favorite quote from the book:

When you control a man's thinking you do not have to worry about his actions. You do not have to tell him not to stand or go yonder. He will find his "proper place" and will stay in it. You do not need to send him to the back door, he will cut one for his special benefit. His education makes it necessary.

Dr. Wade's Book Recommendations <3

*Keep Your Head in the Books*

A Poem for Justice

While Justice Sleeps...

I explore my city and ride on a train while I overcome this pain

I connect with my Ancestors in spirit

I honor their struggle while I fight for their justice.

While Justice Sleeps...

I fight the laws put in place to harm our race

I read books to expand my mind and break free from the trance

I find the clues left behind over time that leads me back to my kind.

While Justice Sleeps...

I learn the rules of the game I didn't know we were playing

I eat the food and use the recipes my ancestors left for me

I gather with my family and friends in hopes to build our community.

While Justice Sleeps...

I put pieces of the puzzle together to find our true history

I pray that future generations learn the truth that my generation is searching to find.

I research ways to bring Justice back to black lives.

Thank you Stacey Abrams for writing this book. It is a simple reminder that good people still exist in government and change can be made with honesty, determination, and hard work. I appreciate you and I look forward to reading the sequel "Rogue Justice".

*Keep Your Head in the BOOKS*

 

Oak Cliff: That's my Hood (Black History in my city)

 The Accomodation

By Jim Schutze (Forward by John Wiley Price)

The Tea is HOT! The Accommodation is a must read if you are from Dallas. If you do not read this book and you are from Dallas you are missing out on a public awakening. The Author of this book takes you back in time on a historical journey through Dallas. While reading this book I imagined Dallas in the, 30's, 40's, 50's and 60's. I could feel myself there, watching the rail roads being built and the economy starting to boom. I could see the City starting to form and establishing a name for itself, I could see the street signs being made and stamped with historical names, and most importantly I could see black people, my people, struggling to make lives for themselves during this white economic boom and fighting for their rights in this new city we now call Dallas.

This book was published in 1984 and immediately snatched off the book store stands. Why is that? Why wouldn't the leaders and politicians in Dallas want us to have this book? What is in this book that could cause so much uproar and confusion? I beg you to open it up and see for yourself because that is the only way you'll understand how powerful it is. 

This book reminded me why I love to read! I discovered a history that has been here all along but I could never see it or understand it until I opened this book. I learned so much and I couldn't get enough, it changed my perspective of Dallas.  In the excerpt below Peter Johnson, a civil rights leader from Atlanta, describes how he felt coming back to Dallas in the 80's. I think his perspective is important because it speaks to the true nature of black people in Dallas. His words lit a fire in me because they were so true. "When they stopped being Negroes and became Black people, their eyes came up level and they looked at the world differently. I have never seen that look in Dallas. To this day, I have not seen it." After reading the paragraph below on page 238, I remembered growing up in Dallas. I remember hearing my grandparents say yes sir and no sir to white people half their age. I remembered how it felt when we accommodated. I remembered growing up in South Dallas and Oak Cliff. I remembered the run down houses and shacks my grandparents worked hard for us to sleep in and I was born in 1985 a year after this book was published. I grew up in the aftermath of the Accommodation.

Growing up in Dallas I wasn't aware of the blatant racism I know and see all over the internet today. I thought racism was over and everyone was equal as I had been taught growing up but it was there and it was subtle, you could never quite put your finger on it but it was always present. When I was 13 my mom moved to North Dallas. For the first time in my life I went to school with white kids. I was amazed and I desperately wanted white friends (like on TV). I never felt any hatred towards white people, I grew up having an adoration of white people. I wanted to have the straight silky hair, wear Abercrombie & Fitch, and not have a care in the world,(which I now know is white privilege lol). I wanted everything the little white girls got because even though I couldn't describe it as racism back then I knew their lives were better and in a way I always knew their lives would always be good in a way mine would not. So there I was in 1998, a new student at Benjamin Franklin middle school in North Dallas determined to make white friends and be different from the black kids I grew up with in South Dallas and Oak Cliff. I figured if I could hang with the white kids I would have better opportunities, I could move my mom into a big house, I could do things white people do like go to college, take trips, and be rich. I wanted white acceptance and I wanted a white life. I never got into any white friend groups though, I laugh now at how ridiculous I was. I went from watching my grandparents and parents accommodate to wanting to be on the other side. I don't blame myself for how I thought back then, I blame the accommodation I now know we made. 

I was a little black girl from south Dallas attending all black schools with black teachers, torn books and old lockers. Then I transferred into schools in North Dallas with better books, better school programs, and when I went to Lake Highlands Freshman Center I saw cheer leaders doing back flips and I sung opera-like songs in a mostly white choir. I was the closest I had ever felt to being like the white kids who had it all, and this was in 1999. I think about Peter Johnson's perspective  when I reflect on my child hood in Dallas and I imagine how he felt moving here from Atlanta. I felt so lucky to be on the white side of town learning white things that I didn't realize  we were still segregated and we allowed it. The people outside of Dallas rioted and demanded I have the right to walk through the halls of Lake Highlands High School and even witness the difference between south and north Dallas. As I reflect now I think about how different Dallas would have been growing up in South Dallas and Oakcliff if our leaders here had not accommodated. Our schools were not offering half of what I was offered in north Dallas. After a year and a half in North Dallas I learned so much that I was always 5 steps ahead of everything we did in the classroom when I returned to David W. Carter High School in Oak Cliff my 10th grade year. 

Do I think we accommodated? Hell yes! I am the after math of a city who never stood up to it's oppressors, killed JFK because he wanted equal rights, and continued to segregate us after segregation ended.  I remember my last couple years of high school we moved to Lancaster, Texas, a suburb south of Dallas. We were told not to speed in Lancaster especially at night and I was told on two different occasions by my father and an older co-worker their experiences with Lancaster police, both gave me a warning to stay out of there way. I remember that mostly because I was a teen and learning how to drive, it stuck with me because we had to know "the rules"and how to survive being black in Dallas. We made the most of what we were given but we never fought for what was ours or refused to tip toe around their whiteness. Our history is hidden in this city and buried under freeways and roads that our ancestors built. If you don't search for it you will never find it. Why is that? Why doesn't every black person in Dallas know our history? I shared details with my mom about this book and she never knew all the while she was growing up in the late 60's and 70's she was surviving the accommodations being laid out for us, but I know she felt it.

I got this beautiful book from my great friend Dr. Ashley Wade and I began to read along with her after she invited me on a hidden history tour in Dallas and it felt so adventurous I wanted to know more. Our tour guides and the founders of the Hidden History Tours in Dallas (hiddenhistorydfw -IG), Mr. and Mrs. Pinkard, (Pinkston HS Alumni) informed us about this book while touring and letting us in on the secrets of Dallas. This tour was the beginning for me, learning about Dallas unlocked a passion for history I never knew was there. Seeing all the historical sights on the side of streets I have driven down every day and hidden in old neighborhoods that used to be filled with important black people, now run down or gentrified for white enjoyment, got my wheels turning. When I met with Dr. Wade in early October and she handed me this book I never knew it would change my life, but it did. I did another tour hosted by Deah Berry Mitchell (SoulofDFW- IG) shortly after starting this book and found even more historical sights in Dallas. The names of the major freeways, the court buildings, and historical sights are apart of me now. I remember the political leaders of the civil rights movement, black and white and I see their names on the streets and signs as I drive through Dallas and I laugh to myself now, like an insider joke that only the ACCOMMODATION readers know. Knowing your history is the best gift you can give yourself

Here are a few recent pictures of me exploring Dallas and learning our history, I love the new view:

Henry Wade- Dallas District Attorney in late 1940's until sometime after Kennedy was Assassinated. Worked with black leaders in Dallas to fight for convictions of black people who killed other black people. Before Wade blacks killing blacks was a misdemeanor or punished with short or suspended sentences. 

Morney Berry Farm. First black owned farm in Texas. Purchased in 1876.

Black people owned businesses and had a community in the area we now know as Uptown in Dallas. Jamie Foxx took his first piano lesson right here in Dallas. It was the first upper class black town in Dallas with Lawyers, doctors, and business owners thriving in the community.

Luxury Hotel in Downtown Dallas designed by a black architect in 1916. Staycation anyone?

I met the owner of Henderson Chicken in Dallas. I learned that she is the apart of the family that bought the Morning Berry Farm in 1876.  I observed from this part of the tour that when most negroes become black people, they have land and own business. She served us chicken from her restaurant and allowed us to tour her family farm.

We enjoyed every minute of this time capsule. They have preserved so much black history on this farm.

We were able to go into this small shack and see how they lived and the little black dolls inside.

Mr and Mrs Pinkard (Tour Guides and Lovely People). Here they were telling us the history of the first black owned YMCA building in Dallas not far from Uptown. Mooreland YMCA Building. Black people raised 75,000 dollars to build this historic site for our people.

Don't ignore the signs... google Ann Williams !!!

The Pinkards showed us copies of the Green Book on their Hidden History Tour. This was my first time ever seeing one. The Travel Guide for our people to ensure we made trips safely.

This was my favorite part of both tours I attended, Freedman's Cemetery in North Dallas. This memorial was created for all of our Ancestors who died working the railroads and cotton fields in Dallas, they were never given a proper burial. It's a real hidden gem in Dallas and I never knew this existed in all my years growing up here. While visiting, I read the walls and plaques, I felt the ancestors surround me, and I truly begun to understand black history in Dallas.

*Keep Your Head In The Books*

DEAR MAMA

The Almost Moon 

My mom raised me with love. She raised me to be respectful, honest, and humble. She always gave me warnings, "everybody ain't your friend" and my personal favorite, "keep your head in them books and not on them boys." 

Almost Moon by Alice Sebold is a riveting peek into the mother and daughter relationship dynamic of a middle class family. I actually started this book 3 years ago. I read the first 3 chapters and misplaced this book until recently. When I rediscovered this book I jumped right back in and finished it in two months. The main character of this story gives a vivid description of her relationship with her mother. As the story progresses and she reveals the true nature of their relationship it becomes clear that her mother isn't the picture perfect person we often expect our mom's to be. 

Learning to love your mother despite her flaws and beyond proves to be a lot more difficult then the main character intended. I loved the ways this story unfolded. It is sure to capture you, the more you read the more you will want to know how it ends. I can't give too much away without spoiling the book of course, but just know this author is mysterious, she gives invites you into the main characters world and puts you directly in her shoes.

Here is my favorite quote from the book, "The moon is whole all the time but we can't always see it. What we see is an almost moon or a not quite moon. The rest is hiding just out of view, but there is only one moon so we follow it in the sky. We plan our lives based on it's rhythm and tides... I knew I was supposed to understand something from my father's explanation, but what I came away with was that just as were stuck with the moon so too we were stuck with my mother."

My mom always meant well, but I didn't want to be like her words and warnings, I wanted to be like her. I admired her feistiness and the way she dressed. Her attitude, her laugh and her frown became apart of me. It was her rhythm and ways that helped me learn who I was in the world, she was and still is my moon. I still look for her in the dark, her light will always shine for me.

Moons and Mothers <3

"Keep your head in the books"

I need a Souljah!

 Life After Death

Have you ever wandered what heaven or hell is like?

Have you ever read a book and been so frustrated with confusion that you want to stop but you keep going cause there has to be a point, you know this author, there has to be a plot twist? LOL. 

I laugh but kept reading. I finally found that plot twist I needed. Let me just say if you haven't read this book, trust Sistah Souljah to do her thing, she's coming. 

What did I learn from this book you might ask? I learned alot more about Winter Santiaga and her evolution as a woman. I learned that certain things happen in life to open up our eyes and our minds. I learned to trust GOD  love myself and honor myself. It was worth it in the end and I loved how the story came together. 

What I enjoyed most about this book was that it was from the black perspective. The words and ways of Winter Santiaga are always entertaining and enlightening at the same time. Her character reminds me of that one family member who we love to hear speak about the facts of life and love. She always knows exactly what kind of man to choose, rich, powerful, a souljah! LOL. Winter gives us life and it's fun to watch her evolution. I also loved that it touched on some black issues like mental health and abortion.

Overall I'd give this book 4/5 stars. Even though I was confused in the beginning, I realized why in the end and it was great. Sistah Souljah is a genius and I can't wait to read more from her collection.

*** KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE BOOKS**

 

Its a Photo Shoot !

 

When I turned 30 I wanted to do something phenomenal to capture my life and these moments where I am finding myself and designing my world. So I started posing for the frame and having photo shoots...

In this photo shoot I was 31. I was 7 years in to my social work career and thriving. I moved into my 1st "luxury" apartment and I felt luxurious. I began cycling and working out consistently as I was very concerned about my weight and staying healthy. I learned the importance of choosing healthy relationships during this time. Even though my life was thriving I was in a very unsupportive relationship which led me into depression. To be honest I have always had trouble in the love department but I have always been grateful for the lesson of each relationship. 

The relationship I was in during this time taught me to value myself. It gave me the opportunity to finally look back over my life and realize how hard I had worked to get there. I began to pour more love into myself as I realized I might be the only one who ever would and I also learned to be ok with that. "31 summers" that's what I named this photo shoot. It took me 31 summers to learn how to love me.

Fast Forward to age 36. I am now 12 years into my career as a social worker, working on starting a business, and focused on becoming financially free. I am still single and happy. I have accepted who I am and I love where my life is headed. I still battle with depression and I am always mindful of my wellness, peace of mind, and surrounding myself with positive energy. The pandemic of 2020 disrupted my healing journey and honestly put me back into survival mode. I don't work out consistently or eat as well as I did in my early 30's. After the pandemic, I lost my mojo and here in these photos I am working on getting it back. I call this photoshoot "Pink it up". I decided to where pink for my 36th birthday photo shoot, to remind myself a woman can do anything and also look fun and flirty. I took this photo shoot in Chicago with IAMAPRILMAE photography. We played music, laughed about relationships and the joys of having children, and we celebrated each other as women. I was reminded that even though I wasn't where I wanted to be on my journey I could still get back to thriving instead of surviving. 

Flirty 30 and Thriving 

7 months after I turned 36 on 2/22/2022 I shaved all my hair off. I asked God for a fresh start and he gave me this vision. I was thinking about starting a YouTube channel before the pandemic but I put in on hold. After I shaved my hair I had another vision to share my growth journey with everyone on YouTube.

Shaving my hair off helped me face my depression. It has given me the confidence to move on from the things that have hurt me in my past. Like the hair I shaved off, I have let the past go. I call this photo shoot "Bald and Beautiful". Growing up I loved sneaking into my room and watching "Young and the Restless". I always pretended I was one of the characters and I had rich people problems lol. I loved how over the top fabulous the women were and how polished the men were. When I began piecing together how I would celebrate my hair cut I thought of capturing it dramatically like one of the rich women I used to admire on that show. 

Diamonds, pearls, nails, and skin. I am giving "Victor Newman's Mistress" honey. Nikki Newman better watch out. LOL

Overall this photo shoot and each one before it helped me learn a little more about myself and life. I am forever grateful for this life and these 30's. I promised myself that from this point on I would live life unapologetically and for me.

***Celebrate Yourself. Have a Photo Shoot***

Check out my YouTube Channel: TTShavedItAllOff for my behind the scenes video of my "Bald and Beautiful" photo shoot.

All my LIFE I had to FIGHT!

 What Happened to You?

By Dr. Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey

Get ready to be blown away, reopen and heal some wounds, laugh, cry, and simply be amazed at this masterpiece. This gem is not a light read. It is heavy and you will need a pen, note pad, and a box of kleenex. I started this book July 2021 and let me tell you it took me down for the rest of 2021. One chapter took me 3 months to process, 3 whole months of staring at myself in the mirror and crying. 

I know you're wondering, why read a book that makes you sad? Why would you reopen wounds? Why look back when you can move forward? Reading this was very emotional for me but it took me a few steps closer to my TRUTH, and for that it is a work of art. It has helped me face my reality in a very honest way. I feel as though revisiting my past for a few months made my future very clear. I will not tell you to read this if you are looking for a quick fix or a miracle in your life but READ THIS if you are dedicated to doing the work of healing and becoming a better you.

So, what happened to you? Were you abused as a child, did you experience trauma growing up, or did you grow up in a non loving, non nurturing environment? Whatever happened to you molded you in some way and most of us never take the time to process who we are. Reading this book is like sitting front row in your own movie about your life and dissecting the pieces that made you who you are.

My favorite gems from this book are the diagrams and small test throughout the book. It really made me feel like I was apart of Dr. Perry's research team. He is so insightful and the way he is able to break down how the brain works and how we process trauma is brillant. It took me months to process some of the truths I learned from this book because the test were so accurate and undeniable. 

The end of this book amazed me because not only did it break me down, it built me back up. It switched from "what happened to you?", then to, "how to heal from what happened to you". Oprah came through with some enlightenment in that special way that she does and it sealed the deal, I was inspired. 

After reading this book I feel like my "self help" genre of books is on pause for a while. I'm ready to read light, lol. There is nothing wrong with seeking self help, self improvement, or healing but for me apart of my journey is learning to have fun again. I learned from this book that it is ok to get out of your head and just live! I have spent the last 5 years of my life dedicated to self improvement and figuring out how to live a drama free, intentional, and have a peaceful life. I am finally in a good space! [PRAISE BREAK] I finished this book in January and started 2022 ready to make best of the rest of my life.

I did it y'all ...I shaved it all off and I am sharing my hair story

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgT4q7fvIwTFS_GetusmfXw

*subscribe to my new YOUTUBE channel... TTShavedItAllOff*

*KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE BOOKS*